Don’t kill the messenger when you learn the second most common mistake working against you in your career; it is actually how you speak. I say this with the love, so stay with me on this one. : )
First, it goes against the grain because as women we are actually superior communicators and second there’s nothing wrong with you.
- You know you have the experience.
- You know you have the skills.
- You know how things should be done (the right way).
- You know what you are talking about.
However, when you speak up in a meeting or are put on the spot by someone with a killer question, are you always presenting that confidence? Do you freeze? Do you panic? Many of us have at some point, including myself, so it’s ok.
*Deep Breath*
Deliver MEATY Communication
This is where you talk in declarations, make really powerful statements that leave no room for misunderstanding on where you stand. Your communication is boiled down to two categories: SOLID, FIRM and CRYSTAL CLEAR or WISHY- WASHY, OPEN-ENDED and UNCLEAR.
Say: “I strongly recommend” instead of “I think”.
Say: “I could use your expertise” instead of “Can you help me?”
Say: “This is what needs to happen.” instead of “What do you think about us doing…?”
Can you feel the difference?
If raising a point in a meeting, back up your statements with facts – that’s what men do.
Now let’s also talk about the person who is always trying to make a big impression in a small room by using big language – lots of sentences that could easily be said in just one and with less technical terms? Don’t follow these people. Speak in plain language that’s easy to understand. People want to digest what you’re saying easily. People would rather you take the time to pull your thoughts together and talk slow than quick-as-a-whip fancy or they will lose you.
People want to be served Meat & Potatoes, not Foie Gras & Steak Tartare.
While it may sound sophisticated and smart to hear people speaking big at work, it’s the plain and simple language that people respect ALOT. Even in your e-mail style, write like you think: rationally, to the point, clear and then?
Let it go. Let go of the stories you are telling yourself that you didn’t speak good enough or write well enough and move on. You did fine and even if you could have re-worked it better. Who cares? After a weekend no one remembers anyway. I hope this piece has served you in your career shoes.
With love and lots of gutsiness,
