If you’re a parent and admit to having no prior knowledge of what “attachment parenting” is, don’t feel bad. I’ve never even heard the term, but then again as your Shoe Hostess swapping in and out of shoes each day, it’s not easy keeping up with the parent advice being dished around town.
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At first it sounded creepy. Rule numero uno I was told, is that children do not sleep in mommy and daddy’s bed.
Yet after meeting actor and author Mayim Bialik this week at one of her private book tours for “Beyond the Sling” in New York City, I hereby retract my knee-jerk judgement call. Rest assured readers, Mayim’s book on
attachment parenting is not about chaining your children to your hip and becoming their forever slaves.
It’s about the principles around growing confident children and giving them the ability to build trusting relationships given the bonding time we as parents invest in.
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A fun roll up your sleeves and set the record straight personality, Mayim made it clear that she in no way claimed to be the expert but rather a huge advocate for the principles behind attachment parenting. Blending her Ph.D. in neuroscience with her spirituality and grassroots mother’s instinct, she discusses how it has made all the difference in raising her two young children.
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What is attachment parenting? It’s tenets include nighttime co-sleeping, baby-slinging, nursing beyond year one and a natural birth sans any medical intervention. Getting ready to potty train my almost three year old,
I’m all over the chapter on “Elimination Communication,” a training method that has risen this curious mommy’s antennas.
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I asked Mayim how she addresses this parenting style for working mothers like us who work that second-shift juggling it all at work and at home?
I said we don’t have the luxury of time to grow into these “attachment” shoes especially given Americans’ 12 week maternity leave window of brief bonding opportunity. She acknowledged that there is no black and white answer, but pointed out that this type of parenting is also not for “white rich people” either. There are ways which working parents can still find time for bonding when they return home with their children. One recommend she had (which I actually wished I tried) was for working moms to get into the bathtubs with their babies and to set boundaries on co-sleeping such as maybe on weekends only.
This is not an all or nothing approach, it’s based on your family, your normal, your definition on how you as a working parent can best create that nurturing environment for your child.
Another area she addressed was how caregivers can folllow suit and continue with their unique style of attachment caregiving.
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She also answered the tough question which all mom’s struggle with, on discipline.
What do you do when your kid goes ape shit?
Attachment parenting entails a gentle discipline approach, she shares. There is no hitting involved but an approach which relies on preemptive parenting. It’s not about what you do when your kid goes ape shit in the moment, it’s about recognizing the problem the 1st, 2nd 3rd, 4th, 5th time you witness something that is bugging them. Separating, talking, addressing it up-front are all ways she suggests that parents can make it easier and handle better the next time around. I must admit readers, I’m not feeling this one hundred percent but she did get me thinking. We don’t always have to act when we react. There are opportunities for us as parents to take a breath, walk away, or in my case fall into “watch mommy run” mode, before we discipline.
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On another note, I love that Mayim weaved in how easy it is for people to use the Internet as a platform to make big statements and then hide under the table anonymously leaving their bold words to hang loose and dry. 
‘Tis true, everyone’s a budding journalist and op-ed voice for their topics nowadays.
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Doing it with authenticity and integrity however is where we can make this new online media, all the difference.
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On a side note, if you’re a thirty something American like me, you may recognize Mayim from her starring role in Blossom!
