I recently met a candid warm Jordanian mom in my neighborhood. Luma loves to share her culture and where she perceives she fits in the American backdrop. Today I invited her over for an outdoor brunch.
.
While on paper we may not have much in common, Luma and I always have a fabulous time sharing of ourselves. Today she spoke of her husband and how exceptionally conservative an Arab he is. She shared the story of when he was courting her back home in college where they met. She liberally wore revealing clothing such as short skirts, trendy tops, styles that emitted her femininity. Once their relationship grew serious and she accepted his hand, he made one expectation known. That he would wish her to always cover with a hijab thereby removing her from the roaming public eye.
.
Even though Luma came from a somewhat liberal Arab family, she agreed to this request. It’s something she says that a woman from her background can choose to do if she wishes, but it is not necessary. She spoke of how she despised wearing it at first; it was constricting and suppressed her feelings as an attractive woman. Now, she says if her husband ever asked her to remove it (albeit an unlikely request) she could never do it. She’s become so accustomed to it, it would feel foreign for her to dress without it.
.
Although a hijab is a far cry from a clothing accessory American women would embrace, her admission had me consider all the ways our relationships shape us permanently. Our way versus our partner’s way of living. How we adapt the other’s “normal” to become our own. How challenging it can be should we attempt to throw off the blanket we’re nestled in, because we’ve owned it for so long.
.
Recognize the hijab in your life. Is it time for you to unveil?
