What?! I can be humble and still avoid a perception that I’m bragging when talking about Me, Me, Me?!

Oh yes you can, it’s a simple gutsy three-step formula. If you’re anything like me back in the day, when you’re selling yourself, you’re not always sure of the perception and if you’re being seen with an inflated ego.

#1 What skills, talents and experience do you bring to the table?

I want you to really think about the skills, talents and experience that you have and bring to the table in your role. Let’s really become clear on what those are. Maybe there are things that you’ve just learned over the years that you know how to do in your sleep. Maybe you have a knack for certain things. I remember back in the day, when I was just starting off as a computer programmer, I had just graduated from college, and had one of my first roles. Aside from the tech part of my role, which was in the job description, I recognized early on that there was also a void, in that there was a necessity to create white papers and best practice write ups. Sarbanes Oxley at the time had just launched in terms of compliance and so I was doing a lot of writing, in addition to my computer science related responsibilities, and that I would say, looking back was a unique talent. It wasn’t something I was expected to do, but which I enjoyed and did well.

But not many people in tech like to write. And I loved to write technical documentation. I know it seems a little bit boring when we think about it now, but at the time, I really enjoyed it. And so when you are clear on just the natural gifts and talents that you have, that you bring to your job, maybe you like to mentor people or coach others, those are not in your job description, but they are something that you just do naturally, because it’s who you are.

I really want you to tap into what your talents and natural gifts are.

What experience do you have from a former role? What are your lessons learned? Really tap into, and get clear on what those things are, because that will not only lift your confidence, but will also create a very strong sense of clarity, which in turn will completely change the energy and the vibration that you bring to that conversation.

It’s not so much about selling yourself, it’s about being yourself, and getting clear on what those things are, not from an ego point of view, but based on what you believe.

#2 – Are you clear on your results?

Now the second part of that formula, is becoming clear on the results of what you deliver for your clients. So there are things that you deliver. Maybe you do them in your sleep, maybe you do them weekly, monthly quarterly. They are deliverables for your management for your business partners, for your stakeholders, for your external clients.

What are the things that you deliver? What are those results? I’m not talking about the process of what you do. I want you to speak to the product of what you do, not the process. Speak product, not process.

Now if you’re not 100% clear on that, this might be a good opportunity for you to have those conversations to get the feedback from your clients on what it is that they’ve really appreciated in the work that you do, and maybe even what could be improved. So you really want to dial that in. Because when you’re having a conversation, let’s just say with your manager, and you’re speaking to the last quarter results, there are metrics, there are things on paper that you can quantify.

And then there are things that you uniquely do and/ or your team does under your leadership that has equal value that has equal weight, but can’t necessarily be easily quantified on a piece of paper or in a spreadsheet.

So as an example, maybe one of the things that you do is is you listen to the voids that are not being filled. You tap into the resources that are needed in order to fulfill on the deliverables of a project. You then pick up the phone and call the person that you need. You’ll meet regularly with your clients, giving them your ear and your time. These are all things that are so subtle, and yet they really create an entire picture of what you do for your clients. A lot of times, people share: “I keep my manager on track with some of the things that he or she may have forgotten because they’re dealing with so many other things. “

Or they will share: “one of the things that I uniquely do is, keep the most impactful activities and goals that we need to make, always the focus of our meetings.” There again, that has value. Again, when you’re selling yourself, you want to have that clarity. It’s not that you’re actually talking about those things, although I believe you should on your performance reviews, but that you are aware of them which raises your confidence and right to be in these conversations where you are owning your value.

Call your own mini-performance reviews as often as you can. These are not sit-down meetings, they can be impromptu performance conversations.

No need to sit on ceremony and wait until the end of the year to talk about your performance. Clarity is confidence.

#3 – Lead with your natural and genuine personality.

If you’re witty, be witty, bring that to the table. If you’re funny, a little sarcastic, but funny, bring that to the table. If you listen, you’re a very active listener, and you can sort of filter out the noise and get right into what it is that your management and your colleagues or your team members, or your business partners are saying, honor that as well. Really lead with your natural personality. A lot of times I hear especially from women, where they feel like they have to sort of be buttoned up based on the industry they’re in, I came from Financial Services. I know all about the need to be perceived as buttoned up like everyone else.

Let’s say your manager or your client speaks fast, you kind of want to keep up with them. And you don’t want to speak too slow. Yes, you want to adapt like a chameleon, and change your colors based on your environment.

You also don’t want to suppress who you are. You want to bring your natural personality into these conversations. This is how you meet your clients where they are.

if you work with this three part formula before you enter into a conversation, you will energetically be so much more aligned to not only what you intend to share in the meeting and what you want to walk away with, but you will simply feel good. You’ll feel natural, you’ll feel comfortable and aligned. You will go in there with what I call “high intention, low attachment”. High intention of what you want to create. High intention on what your takeaways are before you leave that meeting. And low attachment in terms of how that actually works itself out. Meaning you are not too attached to how someone is going to respond to you or how the things that you’re asking for will be met.

Don’t get too attached to the How, but definitely go in there with a high intention of what you want to create. And then let it go before you walk out. Remember you are not responsible for how people perceive you but you are responsible for managing the perception.

If they perceive you as bragging or with an ego, well then so be it. But as long as you’re clear, everyone else will be clear. And the truth of the matter is, is when you look back at conversations that you’ve had, where someone is saying things that you wouldn’t necessarily agree with, you’re able to filter out that noise and still get to the heart of where this person is coming from. I may not agree with them, but they’re coming from a good place, their intention is good.

Thoughts become things. Give more weight to the intention and energy that you bring to a conversation. Others will feel that without you ever saying a a word.

That’s Gutsy Leadership.

This gives you so much freedom, because you don’t have to worry about the words that you say. You could say nothing. That intention will be felt.

Energy flows where intention goes…

I hope this has supported you “in your shoes”. I’m Marisa Santoro and you’re not alone. See you in the next video, you’ve GOT this.

Ready to make a Gutsy Career Breakthrough?

The Confidence Formula: 101 Ways to Communicate with Clarity at Work. Download our FREE Report

Join our free Audio Leadership course to Own Your Authority at work.

Grab a notebook, sit back with a cup of tea, coffee or glass of wine and listen in! Learn more below.