Looping back with super mama Debra Farber she shared more of her extraordinary strength since our inspiring interview last year. She had just wrapped up her divorce settlement and was enjoying a new life with her kids in her new NYC pad having left prominent Short Hills, NJ, a leading ace of a US school district.
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Wow. This is the stuff that women are made of and I wanted to hear all about it.
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Taking on even more now as a single working mama, Debra shares the the flip side of the divorce coin. The one that bespeaks freedom, enjoying the selfish “just for me” time we pine for when raising our little ones.
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Divorce she says opens up so much time for yourself. After it’s over, it’s literally starting a new life again. Think about it. When you’re married, your husband is another child in the family. Working mama or not, the woman is always the one doing it all: making doctor appointments, staying on top of homework, cleaning his dirty socks because you’re washing piles of it anyway. He was never home, so once he becomes “the Ex”, you don’t really feel the void. It was you the whole time and you were always doing it alone; only now it’s official.
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Fast forward to the single life. Now the man is taking the kids off your hands predictably from week to week and you can plan a personal life. The kids are getting in the time they need with their dad and you dahhling now have more time to yourself. Not such a bad deal.
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“In your forties“, Debra shares, “your life is half over, why bother waiting until your fifties when you can start your life over now?” It’s probably the best time to cut the cord.
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I immediately see her point. Women do not necessarily want to remarry. They are perfectly happy making the time to do the things they love.
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Laughing, Debra says: “When did I ever have a weekend to myself when I was married?! There’s an unfair perception out there that the woman always wins. Well guess what? Women, especially stay at home moms, now need to go back to work again and continue to juggle it all.” Still it’s worth it.
Debra shares: “I’m not trying to paint a rosy picture here. Divorce is ugly, expensive, vindictive and when it’s finally over, guess what? You’re like: ‘my life begins’“.
