July 4th weekend. The year has reached its midmark. I enjoyed colorful fireworks dazzling me with their sparkle, dusting me with their magical brilliance. (Tinkerbell is big in my house). I can’t help but feel that this is the season for resolutions, not summer soirees; Looking up at the sky, I consider if I’ve committed to my Jan. 1st promises. Are they even slightly underway? Am I at least 50% there? Now I’m prorating this out.
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Tomorrow in the office, the single and parentless will ask the obligatory: “So, how did you enjoy the long weekend?”. I’ll probably respond with my obligatory fib: “It was fabulous. Kicked back, lots of me time.”. One day I’ll stop doing this. Sometimes it really is easier to agree with everything – it’s an office timesaver..
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Truth be told? Long holiday weekends are no relaxing hiatus for this working mama. I suddenly envy the stay at home moms who keep that “summer place”. School is out and I breathe a sigh of relief because I’m not on homework duty anymore, but at least that workshift kept me in one physical location. Summer, on the other hand leaves me physically exhausted running around in the race to visit everything the warm weather craze bestows: aquariums and boardwalks and beaches oh my.
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Yesterday, I rushed to the public spray ground, then the next door play ground to air dry my kids because in my mad mommy rush I forgot to bring towels, not like the other proactive parents shrouding their kids with their fluffed egyptian cottons. .
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With several deadlines looming on all fronts – a speaking engagement coming up in Boston, an unwritten project plan for a project I’ve committed to weeks ago, some meets with other writers, two interviews, my mind races as to how I’ll make the cut. I take a breath…….then another…….still another. I wish I’d paid attention to all of that well meaning advice on the positive effects of meditation.
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But (that’s with a capital B). I’ll make it, because I have to. Some things are non-negotiable. My sister has just left for the long drive back home. I say bye-bye to my favorite baby sitter deserting me with a wave as she backs out of my driveway. My children’s father had not been feeling well and I’m once more burning all cylinders solo. Sacrifice has now spilled over into working on national holiday time. Do I bite my lip in frustration? All of the time.
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Is juggling it all still worth it? You betcha, because one day (you will feel it) this will all pay off.
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Do what you love at any price.
