Education not ego

Ever notice that elephant in the room when you show up armed with information to share with others based on your expertise and yet find yourself held back from speaking confidently about what you know?

This can happen when you are speaking with prospective clients, your management, your peers, or direct reports.

I refer to this process as authentically  “showing off” your systems and best practices. In short – these are things that you know work really well and things that you know don’t work at all. It’s your job to educate others.  So if we know what works and doesn’t, then why are we concerned about whether we are perceived as the professional who knows what they’re talking about? What is that elephant?

Let’s call it out, shall we? It’s no more than our ego toying with us, trying to pull us back to the land of limiting beliefs. When you make a mindset shift  however (because anything you want to create in your life happens when you focus your mind on that one thing) and come from a place of being an EDUCATOR, you are now someone who serves and supports others with your knowledge irrespective of the role of your audience (client, manager, prospect). You allow yourself to state what you know: your best practices, your recommendations, your solutions and fall back to going NEUTRAL. Lose the emotion and state what you believe. Take a matter of fact approach that feels like:

“Here’s what I know.” “Here’s what I know that works…” 

But here’s where we get hung up. Do you know (with hand on bible) and with 150% certainty that what you just shared with them will actually work every time? No. Does it matter? Again, No. Do you need to run it through and experiment with it a few times before you pitch your ideas which intuitively you know will work? No, you don’t. Haven’t you done that already in your past life or current career? Yes.  So why play in the land of perfection paralysis? No one wants to be there, it’s what keeps us frozen every time.

Many times what we know is based on instinct (your GUT) and experience (+ your SKILLS) working in similar scenarios but not the exact same situation. What you know and share with them can even be based on a “go for broke” approach, where there are so limited options, you have run out of time therefore, the unpopular plan B must kick in, which may require the less desirable approach but nonetheless something you believe is a good path to direct them on anyway.

Here’s what I tell my coaching students, fail forward and take imperfect action every time. People want to hear what you believe. They won’t hold you to a stake if it doesn’t work 100% as you envisioned. There is also a responsibility portion on the other end which they need to run with. If they drop the ball or don’t follow up, or miss something what then?

There are three things you have any control over: your thoughts, your beliefs (which are just thoughts you think over and over again) and your actions. That’s it. You can’t control it all. It’s time to let go and be in FLOW. Remove any resistance.

Ever hear of the speech by Martin Luther King Jr. called “I have a Complaint”?  He talked about what he believed and it wasn’t perfect but it moved and influenced people so much so that they created that dream he held up. Was that dream perfectly laid out? Again, no.

Whether you are in finance, real estate, the  music industry, health care, the beverage making industry – I’ve worked with professionals across all of these areas and you are not alone. Your job is the same. Your job is to educate. Give yourself permission to educate them on what you know as the professional expert.

Keep it neutral, no emotion. State it matter of fact.

Say:“Here’s what you need to know…”

Then walk away.

Education, not ego. 

With guts and grace your coach and mentor,

Ready to give your gutsy breakthrough goal some legs, explore that next chapter, embrace the unknown with excitement and a sprinkle of must-have uneasiness?

Reach out and schedule a quick call through Grace and I’ll see if I can help or point you to someone who can. Ready when you are… 🙂

The theme of our Tuscany retreat (hosted by the Mayor of Italy’s wine region OMG!) is:


Food. Life. Olives. Wine.


Dinner in the vineyard.


Like-minded positive energy.

Enjoy entrance to Fonteverde spa’s thermal springs with my compliments…

>>Joining us in Tuscany, Italy? June 2018 Retreat!  My flight arrives at 2:15pm at Rome airport on Saturday

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Would you like to invite a Gutsy Leadership program into your organization? Looking for an external resource to keep you on track  with your career goals?

*Great work  from all of our gutsy leaders who joined this month’s 6-week Gutsy Career Masterclass, we are writing books, transitioning to new careers, mind mapping career strategies, taking the leap of faith to begin a business and most of all staying accountable. Keep going ladies!

*Many of you wrote in after my last note on fictitious Liz (who represents ALL of us) , asking if I were speaking to them directly and reading minds. It struck a personal chord.   I know the struggles and challenges and have been there. I hope some new thought patterns surfaced for you as well on what to do the next time you FREEZE.

*We just learned the host at our retreat location in Italy is none other than Andrea Rossi, the mayor of Montepulciano, which is the heart of Italy’s wine region! You certainly don’t know what you don’t know. I was beyond words yesterday when we spoke. The humble modesty of the people in this region speaks for itself. We are certainly in good hands! Nothing is ever random. I had a good feeling when I chose this breathtaking tranquil location last summer. More to come…

How is your week going?


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